Welcome to the Cougar Den...

There is a lot of brouhaha in the press today about Barbie's 50th birthday. Yes, America's favorite blond and the inspiration of young girls everywhere, is officially a "cougar." She still has perky breasts, a skinny waist, and impossibly long legs. Plastic surgery if you ask me.

Living up to her cougar status, Mattel recently launched "Totally Stylin' Tattoos Barbie." Barbie is now going to be tattooed and will finally have that tramp stamp above her ass she has always wanted. She will regret getting it when it starts to sag and realize it was a waste of money since it will be covered by her "mom jeans." I bet she got tattooed when she was out drinking at TGI Fridays with Skipper and the Bratz Dolls. After too many Purple Passion Margaritas and realizing it was 3am and Ken still hadn't shown up, they all decided to get inked. Rock on Barbie!!

If I read in the paper that she picked up a Cabbage Patch Kid in her Barbie 'Vette, I am done.

Here is Barbie and all of her cougar gear. It comes with an array of tattoos to choose from, so you will have no problem giving her "sleeves" down each arm or perhaps a dragon wrapping its way around her leg.