I know a little bit about a lot of things, but I don't know enough about you...

I was laid off from my job at a company that I won't mention, but it rhymes with Mamerican Mexpress, this past January. Yes, a victim of the ever so healthy economy and a last minute Christmas gift from the Republican party. I was first told about my job being "displaced" back in late October. After 12 years at the company, I was a little surprised, but didn't really get in a huge panic over it. I guess part of me was sort of relieved to be taking some time off...forced or otherwise. I know it had nothing to do with me or my performance as I was rated as an "exceeding expectations" employee for years. The company was finally getting hit by the economy. As people spend less, the company takes in less charge volume, and therefore, revenue suffers.

So, me and 7,000 of my closest colleagues were told "This is going to hurt us more than it hurts you. It's not you, it's me. I am incapable of loving. I am being selfish." It felt like a breakup from any Kate Hudson / Drew Barrymore / Sex and the City film. I was half expecting there to be a breakup note written on a Post-It stuck to my monitor. I kid, I kid. They handled it with a lot of class and dignity and are paying my full salary and benefits for a year. In addition, they provided me with an executive coach and outplacement services for 4 months. On top of that, I am collecting unemployment which slips me another couple thousand a month. Very ironic that I am making more money being unemployed than being employed. I cannot complain really, they really did treat me well and I hold no ill-will at all.

My friends on the other hand have taken the liberty to have anger for me. I had a Christmas brunch in mid-December at my place. We did a little secret Santa gift exchange and had some fun. Then they broke out a pinata..yes, because we were celebrating with the three Kings in Ixtapa. The pinata was shaped like a donkey and covered with cutouts of Mamerican Mexpress cards. I was then told to beat the shit out of it on my balcony with a broom handle. While I felt like a fool and was sort of worried I was going to smack the shit out of one of them with the stick while blindfolded, they were taking great glee in having the little Centurion soldier on each card take a beating. So once my balcony was covered in the carnage of a cardboard donkey and a thousand Jolly Ranchers, we went inside where I was instructed to burn photo copies of Mamex cards. I really hope this helped them and that they are doing ok with the layoff. I was worried.

So, in an effort to still keep myself moving and focused, as opposed to sitting on my ass all morning watching Maury and The View, I make sure I get out of the house each morning. Usually this involves me taking my laptop (the orgasmic Mac from the previous posting) and going to Starbucks or taking myself to lunch. I am usually spending my time Networking, checking Facebook, working on assignments from the exec coach, or reading the news (ok, it is dlisted.com). This gives me some sort of normalcy of routine and ensures that I do not become a hermit who loses touch with society and starts speaking in backwoods Appalachia jibberish (tay inna win!!! Thanks Nell.)

This morning, I sit in my local Starbucks with my Venti Decaf Skinny Vanilla Latte and I have a list of emails to return, a resume to review, some self-assessment exercises from my executive coach, and wondering what I am missing on The View. My life would be empty without TiVo. Or as my good friend Nancy has named him, "Randolph." She doesn't want to give in to the idea that we are both addicted to a mainstream gadget, so I think she believes that renaming it Randolph suddenly makes it highbrow. My Randolph is very highbrow, who just happens to love episodes of Ugly Betty, American Idol, and Heroes.